Running
by Taylorforever
Summary: Ryan and Taylor after S4,
1. Chapter 1

My first fanfic.

I dont own the O.C. or anything related to it. Its just for fun.

Ryan Atwood was 26 and life was wonderful

Ryan Atwood was 26 and life was wonderful. He had never thought it could be like this for him, easy and exciting at the same time. He worked at a well known architecture company and loved every minute of it. He loved the process of storming his brain for new ideas, developing them into something real, making plans, talking to customers, colleagues and his boss and finally, best of all, watching his ideas being transformed into stone and concrete and glass. He really didn't know where he got all the ideas from. He after all was just a kid from Chino and hadn't seen much of the world. Except the parts he had visited with Taylor and she made always sure he got to see whatever there was of architectural treasuries. He had loved their trips trough France and Italy and Spain during their semester breaks but he loved it much more that she lived with him now. For good, for ever – he was sure he would never let her go again. They lived together in a nice affordable apartment, not to far from the Cohen's and not far from Seth and Summer either. They had settled into Berkeley as well and were both successful in their jobs. Taylor worked freelance for several different principals, translating French, Korean and Spanish and along the way learning Russian and German. She was good at it, made good money and was able to schedule her work the way she wanted and liked it. Ryan worked long hours. He wanted to distinguish his place within the company and he loved the work. Taylor supported him in every way. She listened to him and encouraged him and cooked for him. But she was a lot on her own and Summer was busy with her own career and since she worked in her home office there were no colleagues at all. So she decided to get herself a new hobby, something challenging. Languages weren´t challenging to her and painting wasn't her cup of tea but running, that would be a mission. Since Taylor loved to sleep in in the mornings, getting up would be hard and the physical exercise outdoors would do her good. So she decided she would go for the morning run and told Ryan so. Ryan was tempted at first to accompany her. He missed the physical work out but since he was working late he couldn't get himself up early enough in the morning. So Taylor spend her mornings in the beautiful park.

It was Seth who heard about the hot girl in the park. Stretching and running and being just adorable. And about her earth shattering smile. The three guys working with him on different comics went to the park every morning, too. But Seth didn't listen. There just were no girls beside Summer. Until he found the sketch. Seth stared at it and swallowed hard. "Who's this girl and who sketched her?" "Cohen, this is Miss Hotsmile from the park and we've been talking about her for the last two weeks. Mark did the sketch. I think he´s kinda falling for her!" Aiden laughed at Seth. "Haven´t you listened to him going on and on about her? And you know, she is hot." "Yeah well man, I hadn't paid much attention but this sketch, I mean, this is real good. Can I have this?" He turned to Mark and waved the sketch. "No Seth, I mean, Id like to keep it." Mark turned a bit reddish. "Oh okay, maybe a copy then?" Mark nodded and Seth put the copy in his pocket. "You are in contact with this girl?" Seth awkwardly asked the guys. "No, no, not yet anyway but we are planning on it." Aiden laughed and looked pointedly at Mark. "Yeah its on our schedule, I guess shes single. Who would let out such a girl on her own every morning. She´s got a fine ass." Seth's third colleague Brain tuned in. Seth swallowed again. "Got to make a phone call" he mumbled and went out of the office.

Summer was waiting for Seth. What could be so important to have lunch together when they would be together at home in a few hours? Seth arrived together with her drink and slumped on the chair beside her. He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Cohen, you have me worried! What´s going on?" Seth said nothing just put the sketch in front of Summer. "Oh, you put Taylor in one of your comics? As a runner? And you have made her boobs bigger than they are!" Seth sighed. "That's the trouble. I haven't done this and I did hope its just me who thinks that this is Taylor." Summer frowned. "Who did this then? And" she looked questioning at Seth "there's more to it, isn´t it? She looks beautiful in this picture." Seth told her about the guys and what he new about Taylor's running. "Ryan works too much." Summer said. "Hes not messing this up, is he?" "Na, its Taylor, I mean she loves him, he is her world." Seth's voice trailed off. "We have dinner with them tonight!" Summer took the initiative. "We have a look at them, Ill see if there is something off! Keep this" she shoved the drawing towards Seth "we might need it for Ryan."

Summer had made her call to Ryan urgent enough and so he took the evening off and all four were sitting in Summer´s and Seths kitchen and having dinner. It was a cheerful meal. Taylor was happy that Ryan had the evening off and that they all were catching up with each other. Ryan was enjoying the meal but he couldn't wait to get home to have Taylor completely for himself and Summer and Seth were watching them at the beginning but getting relaxed since it was clearly visible what Ryan and Taylor were feeling for each other. And any probing questions in Taylor's direction were met by innocent answers and looks.

"You have to have a man talk with Ryan. Taylor apparently knows nothing about her secret admirers. With all her complexes she would rather think they drool over the scenery and not her." Summer said as she was brushing her hair. "He needs to know that there are guys in a line for Taylor." "Don´t say guys in a line and drool" Seth whined. "Hell go all kid Chino on them. Maybe Taylor could just wear a pair of baggy sweatpants and a long caftan and one of those veils they wear in Saudi Arabia." "Haven´t you heard him? He works every evening. I don´t think Taylor could hide her being so hot even under a caftan. He has to find a balanced way between work and Taylor." "Yeah, maybe, but I will get a burka for you." Seth said as he leaned in to kiss her and Summer hit him on the arm. "Promise to do it soon." she said and sneaked into their big bed. "Not the burka, you idiot." She giggled at Seth's surprised look.

"Hey man, I feel the need for some Ryan/Seth time, what do you think, can you make it for a quick lunch?" "Yeah but we were at you place last night, what could have been happening during the night? Did Summer kick you out?" "Very funny bro but its more about you." Ryan chuckled. "I definitely didnt get kicked out last night." "Ew. Stop it and be at the Italian around your corner."

"You run with Taylor?" Ryan´s voice was disbelieving. "You shouldn´t do such hot drawing of my girlfriend!" His voice turned slowly from disbelief to annoyance. "What is this about?" he demanded by giving Seth a stare. Seth shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Seth!" "Hey dude, calm down, don´t go mad at me. I need a cool drink first." "Seth, what is it! Why are you picturing Taylor like a sex goddess?" Annoyance turned into anger. "You know the guys working with me? Aiden, Brian and Mark? You have met them at several parties." Seth looked nervously around. This hadn't started too well. Ryan was already angry and didn't even know the story. "Yeah, and?" "Well they go running every morning in the park. Together. Around seven." "And you run with them?" "No, man, no. I'm Jewish. Ive got nothing to do with this. I, I umm, I just was around when they started to talk about that hot girl in the park and this for two weeks now. And then, yesterday, I found that on the table." Ryan stared at the sketch. "On who's table?" "That doesn't really matter, man" Seth tried to calm Ryan down. "Doesn´t matter? A guy is portraying my girl like that and it doesn't matter? I mean, what if it was Summer? Half naked and so damn beautiful?" Ryan had started to crumble his napkin and anger was radiating off him. "What do you want to tell me, Seth?"

Seth took a deep breath. "Listen, its just, you work so long hours. And Taylor always is on her own." "What? Are you telling me Taylor is going out with someone else? No, I wouldn´t believe that!" "No, Ryan man, calm down, she is not, of course. She loves you. But Aiden said, they see her in the park every morning and by now there are the three of them and two more guys Aiden doesn't know, waiting for her to appear. And they are sure she is single. So hot and always alone, you know. I mean in the park. And Mark, don´t hit me, hes falling for her." Ryan stared at Seth. Hist hands were balled into fists. "I have to work" he said through clenched teethes. "Taylor is sound with it. Even with the long hours. And we do have sex." Ryan blushed. Seth wriggled in his seat. "This is not so much about Taylor," Seth said slowly "more about the guys." Ryan frowned at Seth. "You know, showing presence. Kinda like marking your property." Ryan snorted "You want me to pee on her leg in public?" Seth smiled. "You've got the idea man. Maybe a little bit more subtle." They both laughed. "Okay man, Seth, thanks for telling me. Things are so good lately. You know, shes the one for me. Ill do something to make sure she won´´t forget it."

He had told her he had to be on a site very early. He had put some dark pants on and a black sweatshirt with a hood. He smiled to himself as this reminded him of Taylor stalking him. He left his car where Taylor would not see it and went into the park. Four men were already at the corner were Taylor had to come by. The fifth was slowly coming towards their group. They greeted each other and pretended to warm their bodies up before the run. Ryan noticed what a good place this was for watching someone. The smooth path was visible for about half a mile. So they had full view at Taylor coming towards them and then she was visible for a long while when she had passed by them. Ryan felt anger rush through him at the watching men. "Bastards" he muttered. And then she came. He saw her car stop and Taylor climbing out of it. She looked hot. He couldn't blame the guys. Taylor stood beside her car and started to stretch her legs. Her long smooth slender legs. Ryan's mouth went dry. She shouldn't wear tight track pants that only covered her butt. And she shouldn't wear such a mini top. Under no circumstances should she wear anything else then a long thick coat. He heard the other guys sigh. And then Taylor started. She slowly came closer. Ryan couldn't take his eyes of her bouncing breasts and he was sure the other guys couldn't either. She run by, saying a cheerful good morning to everyone and smiled and he heard the choked answers given by the others. He watched her slowly disappear, her braided pigtail bouncing, her fine ass moving smoothly. As the others too, Ryan couldn´t take his eyes away from Taylor before she was gone. Then he turned towards the guys and saw them standing there, a bit lost and still somehow enchanted. His anger had dissolved. There was nothing to be angry about, it wasn't really their fault. He nodded towards them and headed home.

"What are you doing up so early in the morning?" a surprised Taylor stared at Ryan. "I should do something. I dont feel fit anymore." he lied. "You were fit last night Mister three times." Taylor giggled and Ryan reached out to draw her in his arms. He kissed her "I love you" he said "but I think it is too cold to wear this kind of clothes." Taylor looked at him. "You think I shouldnt wear that? You think I am too fat for that?" "No, no" Ryan choked out" its just too cold. I got something else for you to wear." He pointed to a shopping bag beside the table. "Put that on, please, and lets go."

He made sure he had his hand on her waist while they were stretching and he gave her a long and passionate kiss with his hands all over her before they started to run. And he greeted them loud and cheerful.

Please read and review


	2. Chapter 2

They were having dinner together in Ryans and Taylors apartme

Disclaimer: Dont own the O.C.

Many thanks to my beta, elzangel, who was very nice. And thanks for the reviews. I am still overwhelmed.

They were having dinner together in Ryans and Taylors apartment. "Taylor, can I come jogging with you in the morning?"

"What?" Seth dropped his fork on the table.

"What?" a strangled sound escaped from Ryan.

"Oh I am sorry Sum, but I am not doing that anymore." Taylor smiled at Summer. "You know, I can´t get out of bed early enough." she said with a sideway glance to Ryan. Ryan blushed a bit.

"Oh, I didnt know that." Summer looked enquiringly at Taylor "Whats your new hobby then?"

"I am still looking for something suitable for me. Hopefully something indoors." Seth muttered under his breath. "Yeah I have some ideas but none are ready to come out yet."

"Let´s have a party!" Summer suddenly said. "We havent had one in a long while. We invite the girls from my office and the guys from Seths place and the four of us and Anna and her girlfriend and maybe Luke can make it and Kaitlin. She might have a new boyfriend. That alone is a reason for a party."

"Yeah, thats right. The last time she had her boyfriend with her … Ryan, are you ok?" Ryan looked a bit unsettled at Taylor.

"Yeah well maybe umm we won´t be around for that party." he mumbled. Seth sniggered.

"What? Why? We have nothing planned and haven't been out to parties or the movies or anything for a while." Taylor placed her small hand on Ryans and hazel eyes beamed at blue ones.

"Okay then, I mean there must be a lot of single girls in Summers office." Taylor gave him a sharp look and Seth shook his head on him.

"Good move, dude."

"I mean for Seths mates, that´s what I mean." Ryan tried to make his mistake up.

"I could make peach tortes!" Taylor clapped her hands. The girls went into the kitchen to make plans.

"Any gossip in your office?" Ryan asked Seth.

"Well you dont want to hear what they said the first morning you were with her. I think my ears turned red. But its over now." Ryan took a deep breath. "Except Mark, you know he still keeps the drawing and sighes at it and seems a bit sad." Ryan stared at him.

"Burn it! Poor coffee over it! Do something!" Seth laughed.

"Ok ok, Ill do something."

Ryans stomach clenched. He looked around for Taylor who was mingling with the party guests. He was having a long talk with Luke who had made it to the party and they had a lot to catch up with. Their friendship had grown over the years and whenever Luke felt like it he came up to Berkeley. "What is it, Atwood? You are as nervous as a girl on her first party."

"No, no I am cool, Luke, just a bit tired from work." Luke turned his head around. "And it has nothing to do with the handsome guy who is trying to charm Townsend?"

"What? Where? I mean, no." Luke laughed.

"Still whipped, are you?"

"Well better than being alone, I guess."

"Ah, thats my cue. Ill see if I can hit on one of the girls here. You know, such a long drive for nothing, wouldnt that be a waste. I still like them blonde." Luke started to mingle with the girls and Ryan was able to walk towards Taylor. She leaned against the doorframe to Seth and Summer´s bedroom and was talking to a tall blond guy. Ryan knew it was Mark. She laughed and looked so beautiful and fragile and agitated. Her cheeks were a bit pink probably from the drink she was holding in her hand. With her other hand she waved animatedly. He urgently wanted to kiss her and hold her. Ryan could see that she was rambling and when he was close enough he could hear her talking French. And he could hear Mark answering in French, too. "Damn" he muttered "I hate this language." He stood beside Taylor and slid his arm around her waist. Taylor leaned into him. He saw the look on Marks face. "Take this" Ryan thought. "And that´s for the French!" He kissed Taylor quickly on her lips.

"Ryan, hey, this is Mark. He works with Seth. And you wont believe it, Mark spent some years in France and now we are about to find out to what places both of us have been to. Isn´t that amazing? His parents are both university professors and worked for a while at the Sorbonne and now they are here in Berkeley. Mark said it would be a pleasure to introduce me to his parents." Ryan gave Mark a glare.

"Yeah? Nice, really." Mark blushed. "Taylor would you please come with me into the kitchen? I think Summer needs your help." He took Taylors hand and pulled her with him towards the kitchen. Taylor smiled apologetically to Mark.

"Well talk later."

"Not if I have a word in this." Ryan muttered.

"Summer, what can I help you with. I know I have abandoned you for a while but I had such an interesting talk about anime in French literatur and about Romain Rollans role after World War II that I really forgot the time." Summer made a grimace.

"You were talking to Seth and forgot the time?"

"No, not Seth, Mark." Ryan dryly commented. Summer snorted. "So what am I supposed to do, Summer? You asked for my assistance."

"Ah, uh…. " Summer looked at Ryan who made pleading eyes at her. "Well coffee, we need fresh coffee. You can take care of that."

"Okay" Taylor chirped and Summer left the kitchen with a long look at Ryan. Ryan slightly nodded a thank you at her.

As soon as they were alone, Ryan pulled Taylor into his arms. "You had one or two drinks too much." He kissed her lightly on her temples. "I like you in this mood." Taylor giggled and huddled against Ryans chest.

"I like you in every mood," she said.

"Good, thats good. You know, we should go home and see in what kind of mood I will be then."

"Oh oh oh, Mister Atwood. Do you not want to stay a bit longer with Luke? We haven´t seen him for a fairly long time."

"Na, I guess he´s already flirting with one of Summers friends. The blonde one, I bet. Well see him tomorrow."

"Okay, but the coffee?"

"Theyll do without I guess."

"So let´s go but I need Mark´s telephone number first. There are some original editions in his parent´s library which I would love to see." Ryan took a deep breath.

"Taylor, just let´s go." Taylor lifted her head from Ryans chest and had a good look at him.

"What is it?" she asked "You don´t like him?"

"No, well, I dont know him. I just want to go. I want to be alone with you." Taylor closed her eyes for a moment.

"Okay, we go then. Will we tell Summer and Seth?"

"Well see them on the way out."

He was holding her tight. Her small frame fitted perfectly into his shape. Taylor was sleeping already and he listened to her breathing. He loved this. Being the last one to fall asleep and being the first one to wake up. To watch her, her peaceful face, her full lips. To think about everything they had and everything they could achieve. He felt safe with her. But tonight he wasn´t as calm as usual. The look on Marks face has said more than Ryan wanted to know. That worried him. All his old and deeply buried insecurities surfaced. He knew he was smart but he was no French intellectual or the blessed son of university professors. He was from Chino. Ryan sighed heavily. He hated France. He had to talk to Sandy. Then Taylors hand came up to his face and gently touched his cheek. "Go to sleep Ryan. I love you. Don´t worry about original editions." she mumbled. And Ryan fell asleep.

After their lunch with Seth, Summer and Luke, Ryan brought Taylor home and left for the Cohens. He had told Taylor he had to look at a site and she was ok with it.

"Ryan, sweetie, come in. Where is Taylor? Is everything ok?" Kirsten had her hand on Ryans shoulder as she walked him in. "Sandy, Ryan is here!"

"Hey kid!" Sandy greeted him. "Want to see your old man and his beautiful wife? You are on your own?"

"Everything is ok. Yeah, I am alone. Where is Sophie? She should be clinging to my trousers by now!"

"Sophie is at a birthday party. She will be sick all night, I guess." Kirsten told him with a sigh. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Yeah coffee will be nice and Id like to talk to Sandy." Ryan shifted a bit uncomfortably on his feet and looked at Kirsten.

"Okay, you can help him in the backgarden. Ill bring the coffee." Sandy put his arm around Ryan´s shoulder and they walked outside. Ryan chuckled at Sandy. "What is this going to be?"

"Well a house for Sophie, at least that´s what is said in the instructions. Go on, help me, smartass." They worked for a while, which means Ryan worked and Sandy wa

s holding bits and pieces. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"Taylor." "Taylor?" Sandys eyebrows shot up. "I thought you were good."

"Yes we are. And I want it to stay like that."

"So?"

"Yeah, well you see, it´s difficult. She is so smart, she knows so many things I don´t even know they exist and she could be whatever she wanted. She could be president or you know, whatever." Ryan sat down and looked at Sandy. Sandy sat beside him and waited for him to continue. "I think I am holding her back. I work so much and she is cooking for me. Cooking! She should write books about whatever or pursue higher aims. But I have her cooking! And I cant satisfy her intellectual needs." He looked down at his hands. "I feel bad about that."

"Why do you think that? Has she said something to you?"

"No, no."

" I have had the impression she is pretty happy with you and the life you both have." "Theres this guy. Son of professors. Lived in France."

"Ah" Sandy sighed and smiled. "France again. Wont let you go."

"Yeah, he talked to her." Ryan would never mention Taylor in the park. " At Seths party. In French. About things we never talk about. And she was happy to talk to him. She looked so… so…. stimulated."

"And you are jealous?"

"No. Yes. No." Ryan shrugged. "I am panicking. The guy looked smitten. He works with Seth." He looked hopefully at Sandy. "Give me some fatherly advice. I dont want to lose her." Sandy smiled and put his arm around Ryan´s shoulder again. Kirsten came over to them and handed Ryan a cup.

"Sorry, I overheard your conversation." Sandy shook his head and smirked at her. "Who would have thought."

Kirsten sat down beside them with a smile. "I think," Sandy started "You underestimate Taylor. She is the most intellectual of all of you four. That´s for sure. And the most ambitious."

"Ryan is very ambitious." Kirsten broke in decidedly "And Summer! Seth not so much." She said softer.

"Yeah of course, they are our kids, but Taylor whatever she sets her mind on, she will accomplish. She has set her mind on you, Ryan. If she cooks for you, she wants to do that. Of course she will always like a good and heavily intellectual talk with men or women and maybe one day she will find something else to do than cooking for you." Ryan choked. "No, what I mean is, she loves you. Everything else comes after that. That is how life should be. You mature, you grow, you change directions. She may find something else to do. You two will always find a way to sort that out. Talk to her. Doesnt she usually have a plan for life anyway?"

"Or learn French." Kirsten said. "Taylor will appreciate that." She smiled at Ryan. Ryan smiled back. He felt better. A good lecture from Sandy was always a great help. Kirsten stood up and walked back into the house. "Lets finish this house before Sophie gets home" Ryan handed Sandy some screws.

"You know kid, as reward for my parental wisdom you might not mention to Sophie that I didn´t really build that?" Ryan laughed.

"We are even than." They walked in where Kirsten was sitting after they had cleaned up. "I better had home now," Ryan said. "She´ll be waiting. With food." he laughed and Sandy and Kirsten laughed with him. "Thanks Sandy."

Ryan went into a bookstore and got whatever stuff there was for learning French. He hid it in his car and went home.

He tried. He really tried. He couldn´t get a knack on that language. He threw the books around in his office. He was tired of listening to something that was a complete mystery to him. No way he could ever learn that. He put his head in his hands. Taylor had not mentioned Mark and his parents´ library again. But there was still a bit of panic left in him. But learning French was so not the way to change that.

Ryan was holding her in his arms. She had snuggled into him, satisfied and happy. He could smell her and feel her slightly moving. "Taylor" he whispered in her ear. There was no response. He shifted so he could bend over her and fondly sweep her hair behind the ear. He whispered again and softly stroked her upper arm. "Mmmhh, Ryan, I am sleeping…" there was finally a very sleepy reply from her as she turned her head in his direction.

"Taylor, I want us to have a baby!"


	3. Chapter 3

III

Thanks again to elzangel for being a beta and thanks for the reviews. I am trying, elzangel, to be good enough for you

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Taylor went stiff for a few seconds. "Taylor?" Ryan was not sure what he had expected but no reaction at all?

"Ryan" she whispered "I think I hear voices in my head." Ryan chuckled.

"No, it was me you have heard." Taylor turned completely around to face him.

"Do you not want a baby?" Ryan's voice was hoarse.

"Of course I do, and not only one. But right now?" Her voice was a pitch higher than normal. "Oh I know," she relaxed suddenly "you don't like using condoms anymore." Ryan's mouth dropped open as the additional benefits dawned on him. "Yeah, no I mean, this is serious."

"This is gonna be a serious conversation?" Taylor placed her palm on Ryans cheek.

"Yes, if you want?"

They got out of bed and into the living room where they sat on the couch. Ryan into one corner and Taylor with her legs crossed under her into the other. Ryan smiled at her. She was so hot, all tousled up and wrapped in a blanket and nothing underneath.

"So, whats up then, Ryan? You have been acting strange lately. I thought maybe you work too much but now it seems there is something else bothering you." She looked at him.

"I know" he said and took a deep breath "and that's the point. I work long hours and you are here on your own all the time. Its not that I don´t want to be with you, you know that, its just I like being on the job so much and I wish I could do my own thing and.."

"Oh I know that" Taylor interrupted him "I know you would love to have your own company. And you will, it just takes another two years, till we are 28 and than I get the money from the funds and then you get the company and until then you'll get experience and you'll make connections and you'll see it will work out and you will build only things you want to and I can see a lot of …."

"Taylor? What are you talking about?" Ryan cut in. He looked completely confused at her. Taylor stopped revealing her fantasies about the villas Ryan will be going to build to stare at him.

"What?" They looked at each other in stunned silence. "Don't you know that?" Taylor asked and Ryan's look on his face told her, he had no clue at all. "I do get these funds from my father when I am 28. Its enough to start a company and get it going for a while." She said in a low voice and did not take her eyes of him suddenly quite nervous.

"And you have planned to start a company for me?" His voice was cracking and disbelieving.

"No" Taylor gave a strange noise which was supposed to be a laughter since she could sense the danger in here. "Why should I start an architectural company? You'll start it, Ill lend the money." She had started to pick at her fingernails.

Ryan was completely stunned. He stared at his getting increasingly jittery girlfriend. His left hand rubbing the back of his neck. Sandy probably was right. Taylor had plans. He took a few deep breaths before leaning over to her and kissing her on her lips. Taylor closed her eyes and kissed him back.

"Since there is still time to talk that over, now I actually wanted to talk about you." Ryan said softly after they had broken their kiss. His face had softened and he took Taylor's hands in his and his thumbs ran over them in tender circles.

"Yeah good ok, me" Taylor said in a perky voice and straigthened a bit "but I have something to ask you first. I have not really asked you yet but since we are here now and it actually kills me maybe it is the right moment to ask .."

"Taylor?" Taylor stopped rambling and braced herself for the question.

"Yeah well, you know I tried to phone you last week but you were not in and I got Mr Ackermann and he said you were out and you work a lot but he wasn't sure if maybe you work too much since he could hear strange noises coming from your office in the evenings which worried him a bit."

Ryan went pale and then his face reddened. Strange noises from his office – his boss must have overheard him trying French. Oh my God. That was more than embarrassing. How could he look straight at the man now? He had to explain this to his boss first thing in the morning.

"Ryan? Strange noises?" he glanced at Taylor who had an expectant look on her face, eyebrows high and mouth tightly closed, head slighty tilted. He opened his mouth and closed it again.

"Oh no" Taylor sighed softly and Ryan could see in her eyes what she was starting to think.

"Je ne me sens pas bien." He blurted out and put this embarrassed half smile on, ducking his head. Holding his hands out, palms up as if offering a complete explanation.

It took Taylor three seconds to understand that this was supposed to be French. She gasped and her eyes widened. "You're learning French? For me? In your office? I don´t believe this!" Ryan smiled at her excitement.

"Yes, for you. But I have stopped. Its not , you know, I just cant."

"Oh Ryan," she cooed at him. She snuggled closer to him and slid one hand into his hair and one around his shoulder and letting the blanket slide down her body.

"You are so sweet, and smart and hot" she mumbled against his lips.

"We want to talk." Ryan tried halfheartedly his hands already cupping her soft breasts.

"Yes, the baby, I know. Look when I think about it, we won´t use condoms anymore I just take the pill and then we see what happens." Taylor whispered between kisses. "You okay with that?"

"Haven´t heard anything that makes more sense in a while." He answered before he was too busy with kissing and caressing her.

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Ryan was very tired when he got up next morning. Taylor was still asleep and he silently moved through their apartment. They've had great sex and Ryan felt happy. He loved the new no condom rule. He only slowly realised as the coffee hit his systems that he hadn´t had a chance to talk about the things he had intended to. He sighed and shook his head. This was Taylor, still a bulldozer. He resolved to talk to her in the evening. Then it occurred to him that he had to talk to his boss about the "strange noises". And he had to think about Taylor's plans regarding his professional future.

"Mark, hey, will you please give me that drawing." Seth pointed at Taylor´s sketch that was pinned to the wall behind Marks desk. Mark made a face. "Come on, you know she is my brothers girl."

"His girl, yeah, but not his property." Mark grumbled. Seth rolled his eyes and made an impatient gesture towards the sheet of paper. "Okay, I would give it to you but we will need it."

"For what?" Seth sighed and then raised an eyebrow. ""That is gross, I mean, Mark…"

"No man, you think I am a jerk? No, we had an idea. We will make a story about her." "What?"

"Yeah" Aiden agreed. "A story about her and well, we saw Taylor and Summer together at your party and man, they were hot. Both. Each of them but together, boy, that's more than a pedestrian fantasy!" Seth opened his mouth and gaped at them. "No. No way!" The two other guys looked at each other.

"Give him time to let it sink." Aiden nodded towards Mark. "Cohen will get the idea." Seth slumped into his chair. "They will wear clothes!"

"Yeah man, whatever." They turned back at their work. "Ryan will kill me." Seth mumbled defeated.

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"Summer, I think Seth is going to propose to you within this year." Summer laughed.

"You said that last year!" They both giggled.

"One day I will be right."

"And you?" Summer smiled at Taylor. "Everything okay?"

Taylor then told her about last night only stopping when Summer started to pull a face. "A baby? Ryan Atwood asked to have a baby?" She couldn't get over it.

"I dont think we came to the bottom of what Ryan really wanted to talk about. The longer I think about it, with a clear head now, the more I get the feeling that there is something else. I will try again this evening. Maybe well make it before we get distracted again"

She looked at her watch. "You gotta go, Summer. Thanks for the lunch." Summer went back to her office and Taylor headed towards the University library. She was going to stay there until it closed surrounded by a lot of books, forgetting time and place.

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Ryan came home with a bunch of red gladiolus, which were a sign of strength and energy and meant "Our love is worth while any fight life puts upon us." The flat was empty. Ryan was disappointed. He had tried to call Taylor but her phone was putting him into voice mail. So he had come home early to surprise her. The talk with his boss had gone well. Mr Ackermann was laughing hard. Ryan was at ease now and all he needed was a nice cosy evening with Taylor.

He put the flowers on the table. He had no right to be disappointed, but he was. She still didnt answer her phone. Ryan got restless. It was eight in the evening and she wasn´t at home. He called Summer but she couldnt help him. He fumbled with his phone trying to stay calm but then he phoned Seth.

"Hey man, you still at work?"

"Yeah, I am working hard for my money. What is it?"

"Ahh, nothing, just wanted to know how things are. Are you on your own?" Seth got a bit uncomfortable. Ryan couldn't possible know about Marks and Aidan's plans? Naa, he could not.

"Things are fine and I am on my own in the whole office. Are you thinking I am doing Summer here?"

Ryan snorted. "Didn't see that coming. Hey, I gotta go. Talk to you soon." Without waiting for a reply, Ryan shut his phone.

Taylor was not reachable and Mark was not in the office. His gut clenched. He sat down at the kitchen table and put his head in his hands. He sat there for over an hour altering between jealousy, anger and trust.

Why didn´t she come home? He knew he worked even later hours sometimes but that was different, wasnt it. He didn´t move away from the kitchen table since this was the place where would hear her coming immediately.

His head shot up when the key turned in the lock. Taylor breezed in. Ryan jumped up and rushed towards her. "Where were you? Why is your phone not working?"

"Ryan" she turned to him and kissed him lightly. "I didnt know you were waiting for me?" She looked at him more closely. "Everything alright? I was at the library. At the University." She added quickly at the change of expression in his face. "Ryan" she sighed, "we got to talk." With a side way glance she spotted the flowers still on the table and grabbed them. "They are for me? And I have let you wait." Ryan pulled her in his arms.

"I don´t mind waiting for you." He lied. "As long as you show up."

They sat at the table. Opposite each other with the table between them so that they could talk and not start to kiss as they would otherwise do.

"So what is it Ryan? Do we have a problem?"

"No, yes, I don´t know." Taylor waited for him to continue, fiddling with her fingernails. Ryan took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair. "It´s you, not the problem I mean but I came to think that you might be not as pleased with your current professional situation as I would wish for you." He put his hands on the table and Taylor put her small ones on top. Ryan turned his hands around and enclosed them. "And that worries me."

"This is it? You are worried I get bored?" She had her nose crunched and stared at him.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Why the baby then?"

"Well apart from me wishing us being together as a happy family I thought that would keep you occupied and happy." He shrugged." "And me too, I guess." Ryan looked down at the table and their connected hands and blushed. "I dont wanna lose you." He mumbled. Then he raised his eyes and looked straight into Taylor's hazel ones. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Ryan." Taylor replied tenderly. "And you were right. I was a bit undernourished brainwise with only the translations. I appreciate that you have noticed that. That means a lot to me. And that you tried learning French. That is a very romantic gesture. Even better than you trying to stalk me." She giggled softly.

"So do something about it. Go look for something else."

She slowly pulled her hands out of Ryan's.

"Yeah, I have already done that." Taylor started slowly and went back to picking at her nails. Ryan's eyebrows shot up and he looked expectantly at her.

"Yeah?"

"So I will write a book." Taylor said it slowly and started to fiddle with a loose strand of hair.

"A book? Oh good. That sounds good." Ryan was relieved. A book, she could write that at home. She would be occupied and he was sure she would be successful. That was the most fantastic idea she could come up with. What had he been worrying about? But something slowly dawned on him at the strange and somehow frightened expression in her eyes. And he steeled himself for what was coming. He gripped the table edge. "Taylor?"

Taylor braced herself, too. She had intended to wait a bit longer for Ryan to know. But it seemed the moment was now.

"It is a book about history. French history. And it needs some research done in France."

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Thanks for reading and maybe reviewing.

And I apologize for all the apostrophes missing, I just cannot get them in.


	4. Chapter 4

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Disclaimer: I dont own the O

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. It's just for fun

And thanks again to my beta elzangel

Taylor had been in France for over three weeks now. Ryan was miserable. And for more than one reason. He missed her so much he couldn't breathe anymore. He wanted her home, beside him at night and around during the day. She was so far away and he has never been good with words. So telephone calls didn't really do the trick. And he wanted to kiss her and he wanted her to translate the passion from his kisses and looks and touches into her own words.

There had been a slight mistune in their relationship after the fight they had over Taylor's plan to go to France. It wasn't really a fight either it was more a heavy outbreak on Ryan's side which he regretted immediately after. He had apologized and told her he was sorry and he had replaced the vase which he had thrown from the kitchen. But he knew he dad done some damage to Taylor's confidence as much as he had tried to explain what he had meant by shouting at her. He had accused her of flirting with random guys and as he was Ryan he couldn't really tell her what his shouts of "Look at you" meant. It had gone all very, very wrong and a still and very pale Taylor had been sitting at the kitchen table all night. Not one of his apologies could put away her newly awakened insecurities. She knew she had not done something spectacular recently, at least nothing that the people around her would notice. The merits she steadily earned in the world of the linguistics didn't show up in public. Her excellent reputation did occur only in professional publications and in a tight circle of specialists and she was too modest to show that around. She didn't understand Ryan's strangled and shouted words as, self-blaming and jealousy on his part, no she thought he had started to feel ashamed for her not being successful to outsiders.

It hadn't really helped their case that Ryan dragged Taylor with Summer in tow to Seth's office to show her the sketch drawn by Mark. They had marched straight in and found a table completely covered with drawings of two girls in various situations, most of them slightly sexual. Only a fool wouldn't have recognised Taylor and Summer as two lesbians with superpowers. And while Summer and Taylor were gushing and giggling with a slight flush to their faces, Ryan found Seth and things got a bit rough until the girls got between them. Afterwards Ryan was a bit uncomfortable with Summer and Seth now, feeling like a fool.

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So Taylor was gone. He had taken her to the airport and told her over and over again he was fine with her going. They phoned but with the time difference of 9 hours it was hard to find a rhythm. So Ryan was miserable.

Since he stayed away from Summer and Seth he had started to get a bit closer to one of his colleagues and Michael had asked Ryan to go out for a beer on Friday night. He phoned Taylor. He was always nervous these days when he did so. He listened to every word she would say and tried to find an undertone or a line that would tell him she really, really loved him. Only him. And he told her he loved her. Only her. But that seemed to make her even more cautious. Yes, that was what the problem was. She had lost her innocent candidness around him. It had hit him like a truck.

But this time Taylor was his Taylor. She was cheerful and chattering and she apologized and started to talk dirty to him. She told him how much she missed him and that he was the only guy in the whole wide world. Ryan was happy. For the first time in the nine weeks since that disastrous evening he was completely happy and at ease.

So when he went to meet Michael at the bar he was excited and aroused from the overwhelming feeling of relief and being horny and from missing her so much. Everything would be good. Only 11 more days until he had her back. An equally happy Taylor and the thought of how he would make her welcome did nothing to calm him down.

So it was Ryan's first mistake in his feverish state of missing Taylor and sheer happiness of being good with her that he overestimated the Atwood genes regarding alcohol. He drank too much in a very short time. But as a true Atwood it didn't show. He was calm and didn't stagger so his mate wasn't even aware of it. His second mistake was not to stop Michael from bringing over a bunch of girls from their company to the table.

One of them, a tall blond girl with big blue eyes, came to stand beside Ryan. She reminded him of someone from long ago and added confusion to his already fogged brain. She immediately started to flirt with him and they drank more alcohol while he tried to figure out what was going on. And then his body, missing out on the warmth of Taylor's body for so long, put his overburdened brain to rest and took over.

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It hurt like hell and there must be a dead animal in his mouth. He groaned and took the effort to put his hands over his eyes before he slowly opened them. "Taylor" this voice wasn't definitely his "Taylor, please can you bring me some water?" Since he got no reply he ever so slowly turned around and took his hands away. Blond hair spilled over the pillow next to him. He closed his eyes again. Adrenalin started to rush through his body kick-starting the brain into action. Taylor was in France. And where was he? All his insides got cold. Ryan slowly let his hands wander under the blanket along side his body. He was naked. Okay. Probably he had puked all over him and Michael had put him to rest. But Michael was not blond. The body next to him stirred. "Hey, good morning," a female voice greeted him. He managed not to vomit until he was dressed and got out of the house. Crying, he staggered through the still empty streets until he came to the park and rolled himself under a tree.

The decision made him stable. He would not tell Taylor. No one knew anyway. She would never find out. It had nothing to do with her or his love for Taylor. He didn't even remember a thing he could tell. For all he knew he had woken up beside a naked young girl who told him he was definitely a catch in bed. Maybe that was a lie. He was too plastered for sex anyway. Yes nothing had happened. This was all a lie.

After sending Michael an answer to his repeated calls questioning his well being he rolled into their bed, Taylor's side. He could still smell her. Clutching her photo to his chest he fell into a fitful sleep.

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All Saturday and Saturday night he spent in bed hiding from the world only talking to Taylor and forgetting everything by listening to her melodic voice and listening to her heavy breathing as he started to fantasise about her body.

Sunday he spent at the Cohens', finding Summer and Seth there and apologized to them and silencing his conscience by playing video games with Seth. Summer's caring comments about being alone for another 9 days were met by a sad smile and a promise to come around for dinner every night.

Sunday night it hit him that the girl was in all likelihood an intern in the company. Hands sweating and knees shaking he lay there until morning. Going to work or calling in sick? But he hadn't seen her around at work so why should she be there now? Going to work it was.

God loved Ryan Atwood. She came to see him after lunch break. Ryan didn't recognise her but he knew anyway faith had found him. He kept his poker face while telling her that there was nothing and it meant nothing and he was sorry that she felt abused and that he didn't even remember her. Her tears fell on his already bad conscience and he tried to resist the urge to comfort her. Girls in tears, he would never be able to deal with that. She asked if she could meet him for a drink to talk things over. Okay, okay, what could it hurt? He would meet her and make sure she understood that this was all a big mistake and they could part on a friendly basis and no one will ever know. No need to hurt Taylor. No need at all.

There was still time until Taylor comes home. So it was Tuesday evening in the bar at eight o'clock.

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Taylor had worked hard during her time in France. She had studied ancient books and visited places and met people. She loved it, being in France again. To use the language and no one traced a hint of an accent. During her flight to France she had rescheduled her plans so if all went well she would be home much earlier than expected. She had missed Ryan the minute she went through the security.

She had had one long talk to Summer over the phone and it had cleared her mind about Ryan. Summer had never had any reservations to speak the truth to Taylor and so she listened to her advice and let go of second thoughts and uncertainties. As reward she got a very happy Ryan on the phone and now she couldn't wait to make it home and into bed with him.

She felt a bit nauseous as she was sitting in the airport. Too much work and probably a wee bit too much red French wine during the previous 3 weeks. It was time to get home. The good thing about being in Paris was she bought a whole lot of new fashionable lingerie. The shops in Paris were tempting and her bras seemed to shrink anyway. Her boobs had gotten bigger. Must be the European food.

She strolled through the shops at the airport and went through a pharmacy to find something against feeling sick. As she walked past the pregnancy tests she suddenly remembered that her period had failed to show for the second time. She had a look into her diary and right, she should have got it 4 weeks ago and now again she was 2 days late. "First stress with the love of your life and then Europe can do that to you" she thought but since there was still an hour to kill till boarding, she bought a test and went to the toilet.

She wasn't even nervous about it. She was on the pill. The used stick went back into the box and into her bag and Taylor strolled into another bookshop. Half an hour later and four books richer she set down to have a look at it. Taylor had always loved pink. But this time her preference made her gasp. Two pink stripes were clearly visible. Pregnant, no doubt, it said.

It took all she had to make it to boarding. Her mind raced. She would sue the pharmaceutical company. She could just ignore being pregnant and it would go away. Maybe a bath in a hot tub could do the trick. But ever so slowly it seeped into her awareness that her body was home now for a little human being. Someone very small and fragile and completely dependent on her. Someone made only and purely by love. And a rush of deeply felt love went through her and she put her hands protectively over her belly. She closed her eyes and thought of Ryan and then she knew the time and place where this little one was created.

They had had hot make up sex the night after that horrible night and Taylor had taken a good lot of pills against her headache during the day. She giggled at the thought that all the passion they had shared in this night would be concentrated in this little thing inside her. Oh my, this would probably result in a very heavy temper. A bit like Summer maybe.

She got home Tuesday afternoon and had a shower and then waited for Ryan. She was so happy. There were a lot of ways to show him.

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Ryan's mood was swinging between panic and confidence. Everything would be resolved after the meeting tonight. Why should this girl make trouble? What could she gain? She was an adult, he was an adult, and they could be adults about the whole bloody matter.

The office was too hot and sticky for him. He went on a site and straight home afterwards. Home never had meant refuge to him. But now home was the best place in the world. He turned the key and opened the door and then someone warm and squealing and peach-scented was clinging to him. His arms were automatically wrapping themselves around the small body in front of him and their lips met without a word. He kissed her as if his life depended on it. She rubbed her body against his. Ryan swept Taylor of her feet and carried her to their bedroom. They both were raw with missing each other and their need to feel their love again.

Forgotten was everything around them. No time for words and no need either. There was no world outside the bedroom walls for a while.

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Taylor showered first, put her clothes on and went into the kitchen while Ryan took his turn in the bathroom. She took the pregnancy test out of her bag and placed it at the small table beside the settee in the living room. Although suddenly a bit nervous she was humming with happiness. Ryan had had suggested a baby, so what could he say. She heard him singing in the shower.

At a quarter past eleven Taylor's world imploded and vanished into a vast bottomless black whole without exit. The doorbell rang and she opened to find herself faced with a young blond girl who smelled like booze. "Hi, umm, what can I do for you?"

"Is Ryan there?" the girl answered and Taylor nodded and asked

"But what do you want at this hour? You can't possibly work at this time?" The girl hesitated for a moment and looked Taylor straight in the eyes. Taylor frowned and turned round to see Ryan coming out of the bathroom. He had the towel hanging over his head so he couldn't see.

"Ahh" the girl said. "You two were at it. I see. He's a cheater you know." she said towards Taylor while Ryan whirled around and pure terror flicked over his face. Taylor's eyes widened and she turned to the girl. Before she could say a thing and before Ryan reached the door the girl spoke up again.

"What did he call you? Me, he called Marissa while fucking me."

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Ryan banged the door close, turned the key and put it in his pocket. Taylor stumbled and fell. She didn't get up again just crawled towards their bedroom. "Taylor! Taylor! Taylor! Taylor!" He begged. She couldn't breath and she couldn't hear. All she could think was that she had to reach the bedroom.

Ryan nearly fainted. He hadn't been scared like this since his days at the Juvie. His heart pounded and his head was completely empty. He watched Taylor crawling and then his blood rushed to his brain. He dashed to Taylor to take her into his arms and comfort her. When he touched her Taylor's defence mechanism kicked in. She forcefully pushed his arms away and got up. Ryan took a few steps back but reached still out to her.

They were staring at each other for one long moment when everything still could be a simple misunderstanding and someone with a camera would pop up telling them it was all a joke.

The spell was broken by the girl banging against the door. Ryan flinched and Taylor hissed "Marissa huh?" She repeated the name again and again, getting louder and louder until she completely lost it. She grabbed her bag and stormed towards the door. Ryan who had been immobile with fear lunged and placed himself in front of it. He would not let her out!

Taylor had a go at him. She kicked and hammered her tiny fists down on him. She screamed unintelligible words at the top of her lungs. Ryan took it without a move. He would take whatever she dished out as long as she stayed. Soon she got tired and he fooled himself by thinking they would be able to talk then. He hadn't even had time to ponder what it meant for her, that he had called that girl Marissa. He reached out again and Taylor started all over this time clearly yelling to be let out. But he wouldn't move away from the door.

At half past 11 the constantly ringing telephone went still. Instead the doorbell rang. "Go away!" Ryan yelled "You have done enough!"

"Mister Atwood please open the door. This is Officer Smith and Officer O'Brien."

"No" Ryan stammered and panic again was flooding through him while he looked at Taylor. "No, don't go. Please. I'll explain. Don't go. I love you. Don't go."

The officers banged against the door. "Mister Atwood open or we are forced to bully our way in. Please be reasonable."

Taylor held her hand, palm up, in front of Ryan. "Key" she said. "No."

"Key!" Her eyes said all. He only could surrender. His hands were shaking so strongly that he nearly wasn't able to fish the key out of his pocket. Taylor slid her arm beside Ryan, reached for the doorknob and opened it. Ryan kept standing where he was, just put his hands before his eyes.

The constables tried to get in but stopped when they saw Ryan. They looked at Taylor. "You okay Ma´am? Your neighbours called since they heard a fight?"

Taylor nodded and asked them with a hoarse voice to wait a moment so she could get a bag.

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At Midnight Ryan found the pregnancy test stick and while clutching it in his hand he started to wreck the place.

At half past 12 the police came again called yet again by the neighbours. They took him with them to the station house since he clearly seemed to be suicidal.

Inside the police car Ryan calmed down. He had to get out of there. There was no more time to waste he suddenly realised. Getting Taylor back was all he had to think about now. He told them he was alright but they wouldn't leave him on his own. So he called Sandy Cohen to pick him up, being aware of the shock Sandy would get by this call. He had no choice. He had to find Taylor. He still clutched the pregnancy test.


End file.
